


'Till the End of the Line

by atomic_brunette



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Because fuck canon, Dialogue Heavy, For the first chapter at least, M/M, Post-Avengers: Endgame (Movie), Time Travel, no betas - we die like men, stucky fix-it, tony and nat are alive
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-25
Updated: 2019-07-25
Packaged: 2020-07-19 12:17:57
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,564
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19973953
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/atomic_brunette/pseuds/atomic_brunette
Summary: “If you don’t want me here all you have to do is say so.” Steve offered, careful to level his voice so it came off as understanding rather than blaming.Peggy rolled her eyes.“Sometimes I wonder how it is you got through the war in one piece. It’s not that I don’t want you, Steve, it’s that someone more important to you does. I’m sure you’re fully aware of that.”----Or: Steve goes back in time intending to stay with Peggy (thanks, Russo brothers) but realizes his true home is with Bucky





	'Till the End of the Line

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really wanna forget the whole "hey Buck nice seeing ya now I'm gonna bail" thing but hey, what's better than writing my own version? I'm just playing off what the Russo's gave us, so fair warning for some seriously fucked up mentality from Steve. Seriously, I cringed when I was writing some of it. I'm gonna give him some creds here and blame it on five years of depression and guilt because let's face it, whose judgement and frame of mind WOULDN'T be fucked after that?
> 
> ALSO I've been staring at this for hours trying to edit but this is all I've got so far. Pretty shit at the moment, but then again so was the decision to make Steve abandon his best friend in favor of a female love interest. I'll probably edit this chapter and update it later, but until then I promise it gets better from here.

Steve could tell Bucky wasn’t happy with his plan. He was the only one he trusted with the information, and if Steve really was going to go through with it Bucky damn well deserved to know. He told him he was going to talk to Peggy, since according to Stark and Banner it wouldn’t mess with the current timeline, though he still wasn’t sure exactly how that worked.

The next part pained him to say, but his words seemed to hurt Bucky just as much.

“I don’t...I don’t know if I’ll wanna come back.” He admitted. “You deserve to know that’s a possibility.” The slight recoil Bucky gave and the look of almost betrayal that flashed across his face for less than a second sent a pang of guilt through his chest. As soon as the words had left his mouth Steve wanted to take them all back. He didn’t want to stay in the seventies (or forties), not really, but he reminded himself Bucky deserved better than him. He deserved to find his own love rather than be smothered by Steve, who barely let him out of his sight long enough to allow him to even think about talking to someone new.

Bucky’s eyes shifted to somewhere low on the wall behind him and he pursed his lips, tightly nodding a few times. Steve was afraid of what he’d say.

Bucky settled on, “I understand.”

Steve could hardly bear to look into his eyes as he continued. 

“If I were in your shoes and I got a chance to make a new life with the person I loved, I’d stay too.” Bucky gave a laugh Steve could tell was forced. “‘Sides, this ain’t goodbye, right? Serum’s kept us alive this long, you can stand another fifty years. You may look older than dirt, but I’ll still get to see you.”

Steve felt another wave of guilt settle deep in his chest, almost making him feel sick. He’d thought long and hard about this decision, and now that he’d finally worked up the courage to chalk it up to Bucky he wasn’t so sure of himself anymore.

Then again, he wasn’t so sure he’d been rock solid on the plan in the first place. The part that took the most time was convincing himself that staying in the past was better for the both of them. Steve would live a life without bearing the mantle of Captain America and Bucky would get one without Steve there holding him back.

“It’ll be a few seconds to you. I’ll be back in a heartbeat.” Steve tried - and failed - to console.

Bucky looked him in the eye, that same forced smile on his lips, and gave him a short pat on the shoulder, a little rougher than usual.

“Well, might as well get a move on. Banner should have the machine ready to go.” He stated, walking around Steve and out the door to leave him staring at the space Bucky had just been occupying.

“Yeah.” Steve half-heartedly agreed, voice sounding distant to his own ears.

————

Bruce, as Bucky had figured, did have the machine ready to go. It was set up outside on the most beautiful day Steve had seen in years, the forest alive and happily thriving outside Tony’s cabin. Even the animals were celebrating the return of the missing. 

Sam was waiting for them by the pad and Bucky, who’d remained noticeably silent and always a few paces ahead of Steve on the walk over, came to rest beside him.

Steve, armed with mjolnir and a briefcase that contained the infinity stones, placed the two on the warp pad before delivering his final goodbyes. 

_ No, not final, _ he reminded himself, knowing he’d see them again whether it be in five hours or five decades. To them it’d only be a few seconds, no matter the outcome.

Bucky stepped up to him, a small grin on his face. This one was still forced but a little less visibly.

“Don’t do anything stupid until I get back.” Steve said, paying homage to their goodbye from over half a century ago. That’d been one of the most painful goodbyes of his life, until now.

“How can I?” Bucky quipped, nearly breaking Steve’s heart at the memory. Bucky remembered everything now, including that small moment. “You’re taking all the stupid with you.”

“Jerk.” Steve muttered, pulling him into a hug.

“Punk.” Bucky responded, squeezing a little tighter.

Steve tried not to think of it as a plea of  _ please don’t go. _

He forced himself to disengage in the hug, afraid if he held on any longer he wouldn’t want to leave altogether. He needed to; he needed to return the stones and mjolnir to their rightful places.

“I’m gonna miss you, buddy.” 

“He’ll only be gone for about five seconds.” Bruce chimed in. Steve forced his lips into a small smile before stepping onto the pad, picking up the items to be returned.

The hammer felt exceptionally heavy.

He took a breath and nodded to Bruce, who promptly began powering the device up.Before he could change his mind, he let the helmet form snugly around his head and gave another nod for Banner to send him back.

He handled the trip better than last time, now knowing exactly what to expect, and before he knew it he was standing in a dark room, now in the 70’s. It was a storage room, more of a closet really, with boxes filled to the brim with stacks of papers lining shelves along the walls. He quickly hid mjolnir and discarded his quantum realm uniform in favor of the green coverall beneath, stashing it with the hammer. He donned the same hat and aviators as he had before, only a suitcase containing the stones in hand as he peeked outside to check for any passerby before sneaking out.

Rather than attempt to return it to the warehouse where Stark found it, he took it with him on his search for Peggy; he was certain she’d know what to do with it, and much more covertly than Steve. He kept his head down throughout his search, navigating through hallways he’d studied before their first trip until he found what he was looking for.

His blood chilled when he located the door donning her name, even more so when he checked through her office window to see her familiar brown curls sitting inside.

Steve firmly gripped the handle, taking a deep breath before twisting it. He kept his back facing Peggy, making sure the door was closed before turning, head still ducked to hide his face beneath his cap.

“How can I help you, soldier?” She prompted in her strong, beautiful voice - not at all like it had been when he’d spoken to her on her deathbed.

“Are you expecting anyone?” He checked.

“Not at the present, no. What is it you need?” 

He took a steadying breath, slowly bringing his hands up to remove the cap and glasses.

When he looked up he heard a gasp and was greeted with a paled face and shocked silence.

“Hiya, Peg.” Steve said quietly. As soon as he spoke, her hand came up to cover her gaping mouth. He saw her eyes gleaming with rapidly forming tears.

“Is it really you?” She breathed. He nodded, unable to trust his own voice.

She slowly stood from her chair and approached, the same hand that had been covering her mouth now carefully reaching out to touch his arm. It reminded him of Bucky when he’d first come out of cryo in Wakanda; tentatively curling his hand around Steve’s wrist to assure him Steve was really there.

“How?”

Before answering, he pulled her into a tight hug. 

“I’ve missed you.” He nearly cried, resting his chin on the top of her head.

“It’s been so long.” She quietly sobbed. “So long.”

His mind was sent to the first time he’d heard those words from her, when she lying in a hospital bed, frail and wrinkled. He was still in disbelief he got to hear them again, not because she forgot who he was after hours of conversation, but because she was still young and beautiful with decades ahead of her and they were finally reunited.

“I couldn’t leave my best girl.” He recalled. “Not when she owes me a dance.”

He closed his eyes, holding her tight as her shoulders shook. A few tears of his own escaped, cascading down his cheeks and into her hair.

“I don’t understand, Steve.” Peggy said, pushing him back slightly to look into his eyes. Her makeup was smudged, mascara staining her cheeks along the wet trails of tears. “How are you back? Howard searched all over the ocean for nearly a year and couldn’t find anything.”

“It’s a long story.” He answered, smoothing her hair where his chin had been resting.

“You may not believe all of it.”

She smiled that gorgeous, nearly mischievous smile of hers, and said, “Try me, soldier.”

So he did. They sat in her office, where she’d told a man named Jarvis (Steve briefly wondered if that was where Tony got the name for the AI) to refuse any and all meetings, and Steve explained absolutely everything from the moment he was thawed to the circumstances of his return. Peggy made a pot of coffee which Steve gratefully accepted and sipped on throughout the story. Every now and then she would ask a question or make a comment.

“James is still alive?” She inquired when he told her of the Winter Soldier, though he’d been sure to spare the details of Howard and Maria.

“He is.” Steve answered, and he couldn’t help the fond smile as he spoke of him. “A Wakandan princess - she’s the same one who healed Tony after he used the gauntlet and she’s a  _ genius, _ Peg, you would’a loved her - helped remove HYDRA’s brainwashing. They have this thing called Skype that lets you communicate over live video with one another from across the globe, so I got to keep in touch and check in on him through the process. 21st century technology is a  _ wonder. _ ”

“I see.” She commented with a smile as she took a sip of coffee. “I’m not surprised he was able to break free; he’s a very strong man. I’m sorry he had to endure the endeavors that he did.”

Steve looked down into his own mug.

“Yeah, I am too.” He agreed.

“So, you and these friends of yours, you were able to defeat Thanos and now you’re returning the infinity stones to their respective timelines?”

He nodded in agreement.

“Then how are you having this conversation with me?” She questioned. “Won’t this muck up the future?”

“From what Stark and Banner said, it shouldn’t. According to them what happened in our past is already set and can’t be altered.”

He got a puzzled look.

“I don’t understand how that works, either.” He shrugged. “But to them no matter how long I stay here I’ll be back in a jiffy.”

Ouch, the old slang was creeping back up on him. He didn’t even wanna think about how Tony would tease him for that.

“I see.” She nodded. “And when are you planning on returning?”

Steve grew quiet, studying her features.

“When do you want me to?” He asked quietly. Peggy eyed him carefully for a moment before giving a small laugh.

“Steven Grant Rogers, that is your only flaw.” She chuckled, grasping his hand. “You’re always so focused on what you think is best for others, but never yourself. Sometimes it’s that mentality that gets you into trouble.”

His brow furrowed. Regardless of whether he stayed or not, he still had to get something off his chest.

“Even if you don’t feel the same, I care about you, Peggy. I love you.” He confessed, and it was true. He did love her, and he truly wished he’d gotten to know her more outside their limited time together.

“And I you,” she agreed, “but this isn’t about just me. I would love to experience life with you, to get to know and love you in ways I never got to during the war, but that’s not what’s meant to be. Something tells me you know that, you’re just too afraid to admit it.”

“If you don’t want me here all you have to do is say so.” Steve offered, careful to level his voice so it came off as understanding rather than blaming.

Peggy rolled her eyes.

“Sometimes I wonder how it is you got through the war in one piece. It’s not that I don’t want you, Steve, it’s that someone more important to you does. I’m sure you’re fully aware of that.”

She didn’t have to explain any further than that. He knew who that someone she spoke of was, knew damn well it was the same someone who nearly made him want to stay in 2023 and forget the stones altogether. Hearing it from Peggy made him feel even more like a piece of shit for even considering staying in the first place, even though she was the one he would have stayed  _ for _ .

“What if he doesn’t?” Steve asked uncertainly. He never thought Bucky loved him in any way other than brotherly. “I’ve known him my whole life and not once has he said anything.”

“Have you?” She challenged, laughing again at his slightly shocked expression. “Come on, Steven, even when we had our moments it was still obvious you cared for him in a way not even I could disrupt. I saw the way you two looked at each other; he gave you the same look of admiration and adoration I did, and you gave us both something similar, albeit a bit stronger towards him. It never changed how I felt, but I knew I couldn’t compete with James.”

Steve hung his head, watching as Peggy’s thumb ran soothingly over the back of his hand.

“I felt like I was smothering him, Peg.” He confessed. “He finally recovered and was able to make new relationships with new people and I felt like I was the one standing in the way of it. I never thought he loved me the way I love him. I figured he was just putting up with me because I never wanted to leave him again, that I was being selfish. At the time I thought this would be better for him, but I shouldn’t have made that decision on his behalf.”

_ What if he doesn’t want me back anymore? After what I did? _ He thought bitterly, reflecting on the damage that had been done.

“Honestly, no, you shouldn’t have.” Peggy agreed. “But that’s what I mean, Steve. What you think is best for others may not be what  _ they _ want. Sometimes it’s worse when emotions become involved, especially after all you’ve been through. You tell yourself you’re a burden to James when I guarantee you he sees no such thing.”

He nodded, and she gave him a sad smile as she wiped away a tear on his cheek with her free hand.

“I’ve missed you, Peg.” He murmured. “And I’m sorry.”

She sighed, eyeing him for a moment.

“I’ve missed you too, Steve, don’t get me wrong, but you need to stop mourning what could have been and let yourself be happy for once. I don’t think you could ever  _ truly _ be happy with me, anyway. Not this you, at least. If this were the forties and we found you after the crash, maybe; as far as you knew then Barnes was gone, and you might have been able to move past that loss. Not now, though, not when you know the one you truly belong with is still out there. You said I get married and have children, right?” She asked.

Steve nodded.

“And you said I’m happy with my decisions?”

“You are.”

“Then stop worrying over me.” She stressed with a squeeze to his hand. “A lot of people wish for a second chance to fix their mistakes. You not only get that, but something nearly unheard of; a third. All those years you thought he was gone only for him to return to you. That’s something beautiful, a reunion of two people brought back together by fate. I’ve come to terms with this, Steve, I did long ago. You two need each other. Besides…” she trailed off, lips quirking into a sly grin as she fetched something from her desk drawer. She handed it over, and Steve was met with a familiar sight. 

It was a black and white photo, only now it wasn’t weathered with age, and it wasn’t yet framed. Decades from this moment, it would sit on Peggy’s nightstand in her hospital room.

It was of her and her children.

“I think I’m already a bit ahead of you on that one.” She pointed out, letting him study it for a moment.

Steve smiled, matching the faces in the photograph. It was only now that he was looking for it that he saw the delicate gold band fitted around the ring finger of her left hand. She and Daniel must have gotten married long ago, at this point. Of course Peggy told her about him in the future, but unfortunately she got names and details mixed up so often it was hard to tell what happened with which people at a certain time. 

He seemed to forget that the Peggy sitting in front of him is already in her early fifties.

“You’ve shown me this before.” He said, nodding to the picture.

“They’re what keeps me going these days, even if they still make me want to rip my hair out sometimes.” She commented with a fond grin, studying the photo herself for a moment before it was placed neatly back in the desk. “I’m happy, Steve. Losing you was difficult, to say the least, but I eventually moved on. Besides,” she said with a wry grin, “I’m already past fifty, and you still only look to be in your thirties.”

It felt nice to laugh with her again, something that was sparse and treasured. 

“Well,  _ technically _ I’m a hundred and five.” He corrected. Peggy smiled and arched her eyebrows.

“Maybe I should put Howard to work on designing a new serum in hopes I age just as fine.”

At the mention of his name, Steve sobered again.

“How is he, anyway?” He questioned.

“He’s still Howard.” Peggy sighed. “But now he’s fretting a bit about the prospects of fatherhood. He’s still pondering over baby names, but it seems Maria’s set on Anthony.”

Steve quirked his head.

“What kind of names?” He asked, because now that that jar was opened, there was no way he was closing it.

“You’re just asking so you can tease Anthony when you get back.” 

“You’ve always been the smartest gal I’ve known.” He complimented.

“What about that princess?” Peggy asked, an eyebrow arched.

“Even she admires you. You know you’re listed as one of the most powerful women in history? You’re a feminist icon.”

Peggy seemed to get a kick outta that.

Of all the names she listed, Steve’s favorite by far had to be Herbert.  _ Herbert! _ He couldn’t wait to see Tony’s reaction when he told him  _ that _ was almost his name. 

Until she revealed Tony really almost became  _ Steve _ . Howard was prepared to name his own baby after the man he, in Peggy’s words, admired the most for having the courage to make the biggest sacrifice of all to save humanity. While it tugged at his heartstrings, he decided to keep that one private; it was too close to home for joking matters. Steve wasn’t the only one who’d been fully prepared to give his life to save others - only Nat and Tony had done it to spare the entire  _ universe _ from destruction.

He was thankful those sacrifices hadn’t become permanent: Nat  _ was _ brought back by the first snap, despite their doubts, and as for the second, Tony was rushed to treatment in Wakanda, courtesy of Strange. From what they’d heard before he left, the healers were able to do their job and Tony was already recovering.

“Tony is just as brilliant as Howard. You’re gonna love him.” Steve had commented.

Their discussion slowly came to a natural end as they ran out of things to discuss. It was getting late, nearing time for Peggy to return to her loving husband and children. As much as he wanted to procrastinate further, it was time to let her go.

He felt better after their conversation about Bucky. He knew what he did was wrong, but he’d soon have the chance to hopefully fix what had been done. It wouldn’t be pretty, he was sure of it, but he had the chance nonetheless.

“I’m glad you came, Steve. It’s so good to see you again.” She smiled, again taking his hand in hers.

Steve sighed and brought the free one up to rest on top of both of Peggy’s. As much as it pained him to think about leaving her, he knew she was right. She’d lived a life of her own, and who was Steve to fuck that up? Even if it was a different timeline, he couldn’t stand the thought of ripping what she had (or would have, if he didn’t intervene) away from her. It only made him loathe himself for thinking it was right in the first place, both on her behalf and Bucky’s.

“Can’t I just take you with me?” He joked, nudging her foot under the table.

“You snogged my niece, Steven, I’m sure things would get a bit awkward.” She laughed, then her face turned serious. “Just do me a favor?”

“Anything.” Steve promised, slightly flushing at the memory of Sharon. He never stopped to consider the fact that if he and Peggy lived a life together she would end up being  _ his _ niece as well. That was just gross on so many levels.

“Take care of her for me.”

“You were a big part of her life, Peg, I’m pretty sure she can handle herself just fine.” Steve pointed out with a fond smile. “But I’ll watch over her.”

“Good.” She nodded. “Now, I think it’s time for you to return to your true home.”

————

Steve led Peggy back to the warehouse where he stashed the stones and mjolnir. 

“So, that’s…” She trailed off, nodding to the hammer.

“Thor’s hammer, yeah.” Steve nodded. Before he could say anything further, she was picking it up to examine it.

_ Picking it up. _

All he could do was watch in stunned silence as she traced over the Norse inscriptions.

“It’s quite beautiful.” She observed, mindlessly pushing it into his chest as she fetched the briefcase containing the stones. Each one was in an individual transparent case (god forbid he leave the wrong stone in the wrong hands) as to prevent the need to handle directly. He’d seen the consequences of a mortal holding the space stone in their bare hands, and there was no way in hell he was letting that happen to Peggy - or anyone else, for that matter.

“How exactly am I supposed to explain to Howard why it’s no longer a cube?” She questioned, slightly amused. Steve handed her a small tablet Tony told him to take which Steve used to record a message for just such occasion. He made sure to involve what his son grows up to be without giving names or revealing too much. Even though he and Bruce said something about not being able to affect the timeline somehow, he still wanted to be careful. Though, thinking back on it, he’d already encountered his past self, and really if anything was going to majorly change the course of time that would probably be it.

He showed her how to work the device and equipped the quantum realm uniform over his jumpsuit.

Peggy hummed and ran a hand over his shoulder.

“I like the stars and stripes better.” She commented.

“Don’t worry, Tony upgraded that one for me too.” He quipped, holding the case and mjolnir in one hand, ready to activate the device to move on to his next target.

“Good. I bet you Barnes still stares at your ass in that one too.” She returned cheekily. He felt the back of his neck warm.

Wait, “He did that?”

Peggy laughed, a sweet sound he’d heard more in the past hour than in the entire time they spent together during the war.

“Go find out for yourself.” She said, shoving him playfully. She stood in the doorway, ready to shut it and leave him to his exit.

“Hey, Peg?” He stopped her.

“Yes?” 

“Can...can I ask  _ you _ for a favor?” He asked tentatively.

“Anything.”

He glanced down to the concrete floor and took a steadying breath.

“In 1991, something’s going to happen. Something that can’t be avoided.”

He knew full well the information he was about to give wouldn’t change anything about what happened for his Tony, but maybe it would do something for one of a different universe. Whatever universe he’s already created by having this very conversation.

“Steve?” She pressed, edging him to continue.

“I need you to promise me you’ll be there for Tony, no matter what. He’ll try to shove you away, but you can’t let it happen. You can’t.” He nearly ordered, a heavy lump swelling in his throat.

“Howard and Maria, do they..?”

He nodded slowly.

“Is it James?” Peggy asked quietly.

“The Soldier.” He corrected. That wasn’t Bucky; that was HYDRA carrying out their plans through a brainwashed assassin who knew nothing but pain and obedience. “There’s nothing you can do to stop it; whether it’s the night it’s supposed to happen or you manage to delay it for a while, HYDRA will get what they want. You can’t let yourself get in the middle of it - if you intervene, they’ll come for you next. Your children, your future niece, Tony...all of them need you.”

She pursed her lips and nodded, processing the information she’d been slammed with.

“You have my word.” She decided. When Steve still couldn’t bear to look up she grasped his shoulder firmly, encouraging him to. “This doesn’t change how I feel about James. I can’t imagine the torture he’s enduring, even at this very moment, but not for a second do I believe it’s really him carrying out those heinous acts HYDRA’s forcing him to. I’m glad you told me, Steve. I’ll be better prepared when the moment comes.”

He searched her eyes, finding nothing but stern determination.

“Thank you, Peggy.” He whispered.

“If -  _ when _ \- we have the technology and the forces to free him, you can damn well bet we will. I’ll do everything in my power to make it so.” She assured. He sniffed and glanced down at the device strapped to the back of his hand, finally ready to make the jump to the next location.

“I do love you.” He reiterated.

She smiled sadly.

“I love you too, but your  _ true _ love is waiting.”

“Yeah,” Steve said with a sigh, “he is.”

Peggy bit her lipstick-covered lip, pondering for a second.

“Before you go, would you happen to have another of those recording devices?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, I know it's cringey as hell...but I PROMISE it gets better, please just stick with me!!!
> 
> Next stop: Vormir


End file.
